November

I have many regrets when it comes to me and you
I hated walking away despite all the pain I went through
I miss the contact, all the laughs, the way you’d cry at my music
Are you listening to this at home with tears running down your face?
The only thing that’s been on my mind nowadays
Is if my actions have been detrimental to your mental state
Because I awake every morning and my stomach is filled with guilt
Because I don’t wanna be a contributor to your pain, but the damage is done
So selfishly remembering the negative aspects makes moving on so much easier
Because if I paint you a villain I’ll stop understanding why I liked you
I think I miss the girl you were when things were idealistic
But things changed, and you stopped feeling the same, and I took it personal
I don’t want to ever go back to the pain from recently
But if I could live within a bubble for the rest of my days
With you and I and how we were in the November haze
I wouldn’t object, because I’ve never been happier, we were perfect
You deleted my existence from your socials, contact to a bare minimum
I can’t blame you for wanting me out, I didn’t act very mature
I disregarded every issue you brought to the table
And it took me so long to realise I misread the signs you gave out
So here we are, this is our position, I’m standing in a place that I feel lost
in
I’m trying to heal from something that on surface level was never serious
Here I am kissing different faces in hopes you’ll fade away from me
But once the moment is gone, all I’m left with is a longing for you to be with
me
But any energy I put into us from now on won’t count for anything
Because we’ve made it perfectly clear that we need to go our separate ways
And I apologised for all the drama I pushed onto you
November us was most perfect, but now those two people are gone