You Couldn't Stay

Sensitive eyes, turbulent highs
Springtime goodbyes make for awful Julys
Still bitter, not with her
No quitter but can’t help but feel like I’ve been the victim
Dissecting the lines and the grooves and the meaning
Investing in moods that can only get better
Recognize patterns, the shapes and the letters
That carried a message I dreaded; «you couldn’t stay»
And maybe it’s selfish to say
But I needed you more than you need me
Still not at ease, still lost at sea
Still haven’t parted with my share of the grief
Won’t be at peace while my heart still beats
Can’t bring myself to say rest in peace
Cuz then it’s too real, and I want to heal
And deal with the growing unrest
My brain is a mess
Scattered by death
Overdue for some rest but still lacking the breadth, the depth, and the cred
Adept with depression amidst my procession
I feel so repressed, immunosuppression
Numb to the taste, but still feel the daze
The days that pile on despite my pleas
I’m slurring my words, my vision still blurs
And I’m counting the days ‘til I’m in the hearse
We all get swept away
Empty, left alone
You never could stay
I can’t let you go
She had me in the palm of her hand
Saw every line in her olive skin
Reading her fate, her life, and her head
Paid attention to where they’d intersect
Compared them to mine, was in awe when I did
Undeniable resemblances
Exact points they met
Identical to hers, as hers were to his
Attention to detail is where my time’s spent
It’s in the cards
That’s what they said
If it’s in the stars
The darkness would end
It doesn’t make sense
That’s where they live
Need her evenings for my days to exist
Our satellites aligned when I was in the abyss
When The tide comes in
Our time runs thin
I just hope you can swim
Missed the eclipse
And there may not be next one
Pulling us apart further than ever expected
All I ever wanted to do was to live forever
OD off one whiff of her elixir
Ed White on a spacewalk with Eva
Gemini turned to Ed Gein with a razor
You are wearing faces
That aren’t yours
Cover your ugly behind that make up
(You're always made up)