Whatever

Whatever i draw
Whatever i do
Whatever songs i listen to
Im thinking of pain
Im thinking of death
It feels like a glue
It sticks to my head
Im seeing a corpse when im out for a smoke
It looks like my face just beaten and broke
I look to the sky ask: is this a joke?
If it is its not that good
Im not in the mood for answering texts
Im not in the mood for anything yet
I am writing a song to feel like im real
That this isn’t just a truman show deal
If it was it’d be a horrible show
A feel-bad bummer type of series and yo
Im all for some drama but my life is just sad
Mostly consists of sleeping
Wherever i am wherevr i go
Whatever i think that i know
Is just my brain cells tlling me stuff
And why should i trust them
Knowing that all the things that i deal with boils down to
My brain is a bully and i am the nerd who
Always gets picked last tripping and being laughed at
I am still sick so my voice is fucked up
And i am so tired of this gnarly cough
All i wanna do is make music and sing
But i am too tired to do anything
My whole room smells like a litter box
Cus my cat does nothing but shit all day long
Can’t crack a window to air the smell
Cus im pretty sure shed just jump out killing herself
Whenever i think or i use my brain
Or im squatting in the shower pulling hair from the drain
I think of my body think of my face
How it is moving how it is shaped
I hate that im real and i hate i exist
I hate being aware of everything
I look to the sky like: got an explanation?
But all i get is static