Not Dead Just Yet

I will try not to die until im dead
Cus im not dead just yet
And i will breathe and i will live until i stop
Until my inner organs give up
And i will write and i will sing with all i have
To no one in particular
And it is fine if its the only thing i got
Cus creating forever is all i want
I will listen to the people i did wrong
And i will try not to write another hundred songs
About the girl i used to really really love
Cus my reality is what i focus on
And i will sing about my bettering instead
About the days i managed to get outta bed
And i will listen really listen to you talk
Cus everyday w grow up a little more
The road to bing happy really led me here
It is paved with doctors appointments yeah
But it is also paved with empathy and love
From the people i have grown to trust
And the road to truly growing took me by surprise
Now im twenty-one soon i will be twenty-five
Ill always hurt a bit i dont think i can ever stop
But just a littles always better than a lot
I will promise not to die until im dead
If you promise you will try to do the same
And if you loved me once i know you’ll do your best
That is all i ask and it is all ok
And i can promise that im doing all i can
Even as im sweating shaking when we’re holding hands
I dont know if anybody understands
But im alive right now at last