Queen of Hearts vs. Wicked Witch (Princess Rap Battle)

Princess Rap Battle!
The Queen of Hearts versus The Wicked Witch of the West
Let the rap battle begin!
Begone Adele Dazeem, I’m a head-taking machine
Chop so many necks, call me the Guillotine Queen
I’ll make you walk the green mile and roast ya, Salem-style
Here’s the lesson
Court’s in session!
And I do love a trial
Get this straight The Heart wants what it wants
I’m not a dunce and unlike you I do my own stunts
You might be okay at croquet but you’ll fall just the same
Cause I’m a master with a mallet and I’ve never lost a game
You’re too concerned with shoes to stop a homesick chick?
This toothpick on a broomstick can’t handle the thicc
All ways are my ways so I make the laws
With a verdict and my boot I’ll kick your narrow ass to Oz
I’m the witch-of-the witch-of-the-witch-of-the witch-of-the west, ha!
You wish you could be like me but bish I’m the best, ha!
Cause I’m the meanest, the keenest, gonna upset the queenest
Brighter than the Emerald City because I’m certainly the greenest
They tried to keep me down but instead I have arisen
I overthrew the land and transformed Oz into a prison
The wizard was a con man so weaklings gave him loyalty
But I can fly, so I defy both gravity and royalty
A woman with real power not a windbag liar dickhead
Now Oz and Broadway recognize the one who’s truly wicked
Ya got your own itty bitty pity committee
You can run, you can hide, But I’ll get you, my pretty!
Yeah, I got a little mister
But what happened to her sister?
Right, she became a basement in the midst of a twister
I’m a slayer and a player momma heart gets paid
Wearing diamonds in the club while your monkeys get spayed
This punk-ass needs a punchin', You’re more sloppy than a luncheon
With a bunch of fucking Munchkins who are too damn drunk to function
We’re the original dreamland you imposters can suck it, ‘cause
Wonderland ain’t nothin' to fuck wit'
«Wonderland ain’t nothin' to fuck wit'»
This battle was a slaughter Elphie’s melting cause I’m hotter
This hag is hashtag thirsty
Here, have a cup of water!
In a second they’ll be singing
«ding dong, the witch is dead»
By order of the Queen, off with your head!
This brat’s got a temper now she’s folding under pressure
Cause she’s screaming bloody murder While I’m smiling like a Cheshire
You’re losing the beat, You might need a pacemaker
Don’t you mess around with me cause I’m a heartbreaker
I’ve got the powers and the flowers to KO your whole team
I got them pop pop poppies night night have a nice dream
You think this is a game? Tell these cards I ain’t playin'
Cut the deck like it’s a check & wreck this trumped up queen I’m slayin'
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry I’ll make a motherfucking scene
Like the hulk without the bulk it ain’t easy being green
Like the roses that you keep what you sow is what you reap
I’m the doom on a broom and this has been a clean sweep