Mind Trip

Lets take a trip in my mind so you can see what it’s like
I’ve been dancin' with the devil seems he’s always in sight
I’ve been fighting with depression nearly my whole life
Will this nightmare ever end
Karma finding me right?
I’ve been jottin' down my thoughts only way I can cope
I don’t think you understand what this does for my soul
If it wasn’t for this music I would probably be dead
So much anger stored inside only right that I vent
Now I’m speaking it clear I ain’t no puppet my friend
Think you gonna walk all over just say sorry again?
I had to cut the negativity we all wanna eat
But you don’t have the drive or hunger to be hunting with me
You don’t like what I do? that’s cool there is the door
If you’re supporting the vision then you should tune in for more
I ain’t the type to be quiet I understand I’m not perfect
But I am here to change lives and barely scratching the surface
I’m only 23 I got my whole life ahead of me
I picture bright lights sold out crowds right in front of me
How dare you try to take what you ain’t helped me to get
I put my all into you now I ain’t trusting no bitch
You gotta stay strong remain calm when all hope’s lost
You dang wrong I’ma blow up like some napalm
Going crazy tryna figure where my mind’s gone
My misery has blessed a lot of people, oh lord!
I was reading fanmail and I came across
One that really stood out making tears drop
He said thank you for the song on depression
Made me realize that giving up ain’t something worth doing
Lost my job my fiancee and the baby is growing
Inside of her and I cant even seem to recover
Waking up is getting harder question why am I breathing?
First Christmas that I’ll be alone I don’t wanna suffer
I can’t lie at that moment I was gonna end it all
Put the knife up to my throat and suddenly I stopped
Your song started playing and it gave a change of thought
Plus my son gon' need a father he cant have it if I’m gone
Now imagine someone saying you’re the reason they’re alive
I just don’t know how to handle it a feeling can’t describe
If I did go into detail it would leave you terrified
A part of me is driven but the other half collides
My scars run deep won’t pretend that I am happy
I’m in my own world feel nobody understand me
I’m looking to the sky asking God for a sign
Like I thought this was the plan but I feel like I’m dying
They build you up just to tear you down
Don’t wanna see you win want you burried in the ground
But I’m always gon' work like I got something to prove
If you believe in you there’s no way that you can lose
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling over thinking
I’m so delusional can never seem to dose off
Anxiety is spiking through the roof once again
I started drinking I thought that would make the pain stop
But I was wrong just another empty bottle such a bitter pill to swallow
When the one that you love most is gone and don’t know where to follow?
In the end I’m still lost with my notepad and pen and my dark thoughts… yeah