Killing Autumn

All I do is stress, anxiety is killing me
My OCD is eating me alive
I’ll change the scenery
I can’t take no more, but I can’t take no less
But completely undecided, when sided all on death
I pray for suffocation when the bad days wouldn’t pass
So I’m poppin' oxy, started heroin just to relax
Staring at the needle knowing there’s no coming back
Visions of my dad
Tired running from the past, an overdose will end all that
Please don’t tell me to relax
I get anxious in most social settings and I tend to snap
I just wanna be normal… or wish I was perfect
I just want you to get me… but I need you to hear it
Who’s fake and who’s real and only I cannot tell
Paranoia’s got the best of me
And I’m trapped inside my personal hell
I try to breathe, I know it’s not an option
I’m slowly dying in autumn, I need to leave
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I’m praying for my death cause I’m too tired to carry on
Hoping god forgives me, I have been in pain way too long
Always been a lost soul, they’ll love me when I’m dead and gone
Never understood the world, that’s why I sit and write these songs
Ghosts in my head since a kid, everything’s been wrong
So scared of life, I’d rather die than try to move along
I’m feeling weak and out of place like I don’t belong
And in odds with myself at times I was treated like a pawn
This game is harsh and the people in it
I did my best to keep my innocence and keep on living
For a sinner there’s no forgiveness, let my death be vivid
Just needed someone to listen
And instead these people stay distant
Constantly dissin' I’m wishin' that they can see my damn vision
That’s why I stay stressed, poppin' prescriptions, suicide mission
Feeling like a mortar I might have to die for this
If that what takes, please just put me in my absence please
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
Feeling like Johnny Cash
Always in a struggle trying to make it through
Dressed in all black
Losing my mind’s just what I do
Feeling like everyone’s out to get me, how much of this true?
This paranoia runs deep I wanna change my views
Honestly to most of you, I’m just a drug addict
My whole life’s blurry, like TV static
No matter what I do I feel my story ends up tragic
Noose around my neck, face turning blue, just hanging in the attic
Waitin' for someone to find me like an actress
Sick of cash trying to cut me out like an absence
Always tripping on me like they do in shots of absent
When I’m down and out, why the fuck is everyone absent?
Sick of staying strong like Hercules
God just sent me free, my body’s turning cold now
Can you hear my tragedy? debt to world
R.I.P
Just keep me in your memories, I’m Gone!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!
I wish to shed my past like autumn sheds the leaves
Forgive Me for what I’ve done!