Founding Fathers Rap

The name is George Washington, but it’s The General to you
Or you could call me President One, not three or two
And you probably heard a lot of silly stories 'bout me
But let me lay it down how raw it really used to be
I got a hemp operation, back at the plantation
Selling the stickiest shit around the new nation
So come run and find me if you wanna get high
Cause honestly, I got the bombest, I cannot tell a lie
Pick it dry, of course I’m gonna try it
Bag it up and brick it and then just let them buy it
And if the Brits want to come and take a piece of the cut
I’ll raise a whole fuckin' army, let 'em see what’s what
The King’s like «Yo, I gotta get paid»
I’m like «Tough titty, cause y’all’s a whole ocean away
And you can try to send some ships to come and make me pay up
But that’s an awful long way just to suck these nuts»
You get my fuckin' message, son?
Take it, Thomas Jefferson
Sell drugs (Sell drugs)
Run guns (Run guns)
Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)
We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit
And we were all high as balls (High as balls)
The Declaration of Independence
I wrote so high I’m surprised it makes sense
But we find these truths to be self-evident
It goes puff puff pass and next round you get skipped
Abe Lincoln
I know what you’re thinkin'
Greatest President ever, I’ll have what he’s drinkin'
Yeah, well see, that’s where you’d be wrong
Cause if you want to chill with me
You better go and grab that bong
Or an apple or a can, see, you do not understand
Faded 24/7 cause that’s just the way I am
I can see you’re having a little trouble believing me
Then check this letter that I wrote, recorded down in history
Ahem, «Two of my favorite things are sitting on my porch
And smoking a pipe of that sweet hemp, of course»
That’s a quote that I wrote while I was still in office
But enough of that, I am too high, I have to back up off this
Where’s my horse, I think I need to go and ride him home
I was supposed to leave about four score and twenty rips ago
You see my hat? I like it, I kinda think it looks like a stove
Scratch it, pass it one more time and let me hit it for the road
Sell drugs (Sell drugs)
Run guns (Run guns)
Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)
We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit
And we were all high as balls (High as balls)
And don’t let 'em try and tell you we grew it just for rope
You can check what we wrote down in our harvest notes
We separated seeds that we found more potent
In layman’s terms we were into getting bent
Smokin' out the Continental Congress
Everybody’s bitches be like all up on us
Patrick Henry’s in the corner looking pretty well spent
Ben Franklin got so high he forgot to be President
Your girl just said she never had a hit so good
Smoked so many trees that my fuckin' teeth turned wood
And if they make a monument to me when I die
It’ll be a giant abstract joint up in the sky
But you know they’re gonna whitewash me
Make up some corny shit about me chopping cherry trees
It’s hard to control a people if their founders are thugs
So they’ll just teach them that I was all prayers, puppies and hugs
But that just ain’t the way it was
We set this whole place up with a hell of a buzz
So next time they try and tell you that this stuff is wrong
Look at a dollar, light a blunt, fuckin' sing my song
Sell drugs (Sell drugs)
Run guns (Run guns)
Nail sluts and fuck the law (Fuck the law)
We’re founding fathers, we’re Rushmore shit
And we were all high as balls (High as balls)
The Declaration of Independence
I wrote so high I’m surprised it makes sense
But we find these truths to be self-evident
It goes puff puff pass and next round you get skipped
We’re the founders, and we found this
And we found it with some cannabis
We’re the founders, and we found this
And we found it with some cannabis
Mount Rushmore crew!
A stone monument to some monumental stoners
G. Washington, T. Jefferson, and A. Lincoln
And fuck that other guy!
Calvin Coolidge, whoever the fuck
We history