Better Off Without A Wife

All my friends are married
every Tom and Dick and Harry
you must be strong
if you to go it alone
Here’s to the bachelors
and the bowery bums
and those who feel that they’re the ones
that are better off without a wife
I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howlin' at the moon
goin' out when I wanto
and I’m comin' home when I please
I don’t have to ask permission
If I wanna go out fishin'
never have to ask for the keys
I never been no Valentino
but I had a girl who lived in Reno
She left me for a trumpet player
But it did’nt get me down
He was wanted for assault
though he said it weren’t his fault
You know the coppers rode him right out of town
They say I’m kinda selfish about my privacy
now as long as I can be with me
we get along so well I can’t even believe it
I love to chew the fat with folks
I’ve been listening to all your dirty jokes
I’m so thankful for these friends
I do rarely see
Hey I’ve got this girl I know, man
She’s been married several times
and I don’t wanna end up like her
I mean, she’s been married so many times
she’s got ricemarks all over her face
yeah, you know the kind…