Miss Macclesfield

She was the perfect woman
She was my kind of a bird
'Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word
She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse
But now she’s into barbeques and wine bars
Oh, I used to go out with her 'cos she cooked me all me meals
Then one day she made it big when she won Miss Macclesfield
She married and Italian just 'cos he were posh
And they honeymooned in Brussles and he played a bit of squash
Next she wed an ale baron who come from Lancashire
But he wasn’t rich, he was just another Wigan queer
Oh, I used to out with here 'cos she cooked me all me meals
Miss Macclesfield…
Then one day she made it big, when she won Miss Macclesfield
She’ll get fed up of buffets and one day she’ll come back
'Cos she knows that all the real men live in Macc
She’ll tell me that she loves me and she hated livin' with toffs
So I’ll slip her a length and then I’ll tell her
F**k off
I used to go out with her 'cos she cooked a nice bit of grub
She may have been a beauty queen but I’d rather go down the pub
Miss Macclesfield, Miss Macclesfield