Not The Way It Is

I should write her a letter
I suppose I should write her a letter
What the hell?
What the hell will I tell her
That she would want to hear
But that she deserves to hear
And I end up protesting what she can bear
Do I come up with a reason
Or am I inventing a reason?
Something with so many pieces
That the only thing that’s clear
If there’s anything that’s clear
Is whatever was is no longer here
Wait until what I should say
And maybe go away
But that’s not the way it is
And I hope she’ll understand
Even though I know
I may never see her again
I could hope
And I could wish and I could pray
But that doesn’t really change a thing
And if I see her
I don’t know if I could watch
And love there was turned into God knows what
So, so what about that letter?
Not that it could make anything better
The fact is, I feel like a coward
Pretending what happened hadn’t
And nothing ever would
Despite the fact it did
Could it be erased without rubbing it in her face?
Wait until what I should say
Would maybe go away
But that’s not the way it is
And I hope she’ll understand
Even though I know
I may never see her again