Everything Is Racist

Everything is racist
Everything is racist according to me
Everything is racist
In 2017
Everything is bigger
When it makes you triggered
If you find it offensive
It’s micro-aggression
It’s gotta be censored
We’ll be safe
From the truth, from bad things
We’ll be Nazi Germany
Everything is racist
Everything is racist according to me
Everything is racist
In 2018
Tres, dos, uno (huh?)
Have you heard the truth?
I’m tryna escape it
Everything’s bad, 'cuz everything’s racist
Shirts, go fish, strawberry smoothies
All the Blowfish, especially Hootie
Everything you say is insanely racist
Every single day the racism’s outrageous
You know who needs sensitivity training?
Every single name in the Yellow Pages
Cats, dogs, felines, bitches
Kool-Aid, Michael Jackson, chicken
Chicken, (chicken) chicken
Every word is nigga
When it makes you triggered
If you find it offensive
It’s micro-aggression
It’s gotta be censored
We’ll be safe
From uncomfortable things
We’ll be fascist Italy
Everything is racist
Everything is racist according to me
Everything is racist
In 2019
Jesus Christ, hyperlinks
Birthdays at ice skating rinks
Suit and tie, expensive drinks
You know what’s racist? Kitchen sinks
​iPhone charger, broccoli
The old guy from Monopoly
Tex-Mex, a dog named Rex
Any form of human sex
Eggs, kegs, legs, they’re racist
Cars, stars, and jars, they’re racist
God, and cod, your mom is racist
Everything you see, or think, or say
Is gay, and racist
I pledge allegiance
To the fascist
United States universities
To mute all the buzzwords
That make me sad
One day we’ll silence them all
And liberty will be flushed
Down the toilet
Everything is racist
Everything is racist according to me
Everything is racist
In 2020