If Wishes Were Fishes

I wish for no more wars
and silence of guns
for all your troubles to be little ones
for every child in the world — eat their fill
the guardian angel on the window sill
I wish for the wealth to be spread around
every soul when they pass to be heaven bound
and after I’d wished for all that crap I’d seen
maybe I could wish a thing or two for me
I wish my neighbor would choke on his yappy dog
wish I could pick my relatives from a catalog
the hot girl next door would tan wearing nothing but a smile
Howdee neighbor!
Wish I could get that knighthood from the queen
I wish folks would quit calling me Rick Springsteen
I wish the IRS would permanently misplace my file
I wish the starter in my damn Corvette would work
I wish I’d never seen Miley Cyrus twerk
Everybody seems to real and I just feel like a fraud
I wish that we were all equal in the eyes of God
If wishes were fishes I wouldn’t smell too sweet
There’d be a million dead fish all around my feet
I wish and I wish to make my life complete
I keep drinking from my wishin' cup
But real life steps in to f… it up
If wishes were fishes
I wish every God damn body would learn to drive and stop cutting me off on
Interstate 5
I wish Scarlett Johansson would give me a call…
I wish money flowed like the falls at Niagara
I wish I’d stop getting e-mails with cheap Viagara
I wish there was someway, somehow I could have it all
I wish I was 21 again
let the good times roll
my only worry back then was «does she have birth control?»
I’m not a doctor but yeah I played one on TV
Dr. Noah Drake
and I’d be happy to take a look for free
If wishes were fishes we wouldn’t smell too good
there’d be a bunch of dead fish around the neighborhood
I’m not the only one who wishes cause this is Hollywood, where all your freaky
shit comes true
and maybe a wish or two
Wish every politician wasn’t a self-serving dick
Wish I hadn’t googled Anthony Weiner’s dick
Was our government hit with a stupid stick?
I wish honest Abe Lincoln was still our president
But I’d settle for Jesus or Clark Kent
If wishes were fishes the whole world would eat
but we’d all be sick of fish by the second week
I got a sneakin suspicion I’m not the only freak
who’s wishes for blind dumb luck and got nothin here
What the f…