Penis Envy

If you’ve got one, you always think you’re the boss
If it’s a little one, just say you’re hung like a horse
They’ll be jealous, treat you like a king
You’ll be gracious, tell them it’s no big thing
Why else would you think, they call it penis envy
Penis envy, it’s penis envy
Penis envy, penis envy
Penis envy, it’s penis envy
Penis
You can buy one, but it’s not the same
Strap it on you, give it silly names
It’s just a dildo, it doesn’t care
But my hot dog, it’s got Elvis' hair
Why else would you think, they call it penis envy
Penis envy, it’s penis envy
Penis envy, they have penis envy
Penis envy, it’s penis envy
Penis
My girl don’t have one, that’s not really fair
But we can use mine, it’s made to be shared
But we’re careful, it’s important down there
And when we’re finished, it conditions our hair
Think of all the things that you could do if you only had a penis too
Why else would you think, they call it penis envy
Penis envy, it’s penis envy
Penis envy, they have penis envy
Penis envy, that’s penis envy
Penis envy, sure do, got penis envy
Penis envy, can’t beat it
Penis envy, don’t make a big thing outta this, I’ll blow it back in your face
Penis envy, don’t make it any hotter
Penis envy, hey, what are you laughing at
Penis envy