Constant Contrast

every morning my self destruction grows
days and days asleep
to change the script of this show
the constant contrast too deep
facing the loss from that day, 19 years ago
small workers inside and around
destroying and building again
on more solid ground
I’m leaving you now
departing from here
to avoid admitting that pain
is writing and singing your name
I lived a different world
a different life
not me dreaming every day
every night
how happy I could be I heard my ears blown away
the music louder than silence in me
I tried to balance accounts of my life
but a plain blank sheet is all that remained
it’s the obsession for desperate hope
for something I couldn’t cope
I still hit my head against the wall
'cause I’m so scared to lose your love
but I’m leaving you now
departing from here
to avoid admitting that pain
is writing and singing your name