John Stamos, Sit on My Face

John Stamos, sit on my face
I’ve got-uh
One tongue and lots of loving to make
So if you
Get-uh lonely
Come on give me a taste
Come on, sit on my face
Come on, sit on my face
Ever since Full House I’ve been wanting the D
I’m like, «John Stamos, come play with me!»
I’m like, «Come be my uncle Jesse or
Better-better-better yet, my sugar daddy!»
‘63 is when you were born
But you waited on me ‘till ‘84
When I bopped my head out of the vaginal door
And I said, «Johnny, you ain’t gotta be alone no more!»
But three years later, you were living with them
And I was watching on the TV from the box of my crib
I could’ve beat the fucking shit out of the Olsen twins
I should’ve been the only baby you were snuggling
I was struggling
Screaming, «Why, Johnny, why?
Why am I a little baby with the hots for a guy
Who was living in a house of a sister that died?»
And I cried myself to sleep with this lullaby
Uh-uh
John Stamos, sit on my face
I’ve got-uh
One tongue and lots of loving to make
So if you
Get-uh lonely
Come on give me a taste
Come on, sit on my face
Come on, sit on my face
I heard your middle name was Phillip
Well, like, fill up my mouth
With that
Greek yogurt that you’ve got down south
We’ll be sweating it out
That dick is calling my name
And say, «I think I gotta crum-uh, but I already crame»
So told, Dave Coulier, take it out of my sight
And no Bob Saget for this faggot
He ain’t doing me right
Baby, don’t put up a fight
Baby, don’t tell me I’m wrong
Wanna get messy with you, Jesse
A-a-all night long
John Stamos, sit on my face
I’ve got-uh
One tongue and lots of loving to make
So if you
Get-uh lonely
Come on give me a taste
Come on, sit on my face
Come on, sit on my face
Baby, you know I’m hot and ready for your snuggle fest
Give me that Stamos noodle with my head on your chest
Give me that Stamos swallow, baby, fuck all the rest
You left Rebecca in the dust ‘cause you know I’m the best
And you could come over Friday
I could give you lots of loving
From the top of your head down to your weird-ass belly button
H-hoes get lost-uh when they next to me
Come on and give me a little homosexuality
I’m not a beach boy
A bitch boy
I may not be rich
But I’ve got that good-good spraying all on your tits
I-I-I don’t give a shit about your fame or your age
Just give it to me, Granddaddy
Just say my name
And I’ll say
John Stamos, sit on my face
I’ve got-uh
One tongue and lots of loving to make
So if you
Get-uh lonely
Come on give me a taste
Come on, sit on my face
Come on, sit on my face