White People

Yeah, then the bitch said, «Use a condom.» And I said, «Baby, there’s like 10
people left in existence, fuck does it matter?»
You didn’t say that…
Man, yes I did!
No, you didn’t…
I’m a grown ass man, what? I’ma lie to you? I’ma lie?
Alright, maybe I just thought it—but damn, she was just so butt naked!
I’d wrap her up with a trash bag just to get in it, you know what I’m saying?
Guys, we seem to be approaching another ship…
What?
Impossible!
How far?
32 kilometers…
Shit… HQ this is pilot Quentin Thomas, accompanied by my first man in charge
of infantry William Kai of the Aquarius 3, come in, over…
HQ here. What is it, Thomas?
My program has just informed me and my partner of another ship that’s now 31
kilometers out…
Did you just say another ship?
Yeah, that’s what he said!
Another fuckin' ship in the middle of space, man!
I’ve gathered information from the ship’s motherboard…
Engage the ship!
What?!
Copy!
I’m receiving audio embedded in the ship’s distress signal…
Man—
Why white people always gotta go investigating shit, man?!
Shut up Kai—Thalia, play that message!
You got it…
This is Captain Christopher Smith of the Aquarius 1—the year is 2093—time
unknown. The entire crew is dead, and I fear these are my last hours.
Whatever you do, do not come knocking—
Aw, hell nah—we gotta get the fuck outta here man!
HQ, engagement is a no go!
Permission of the Aquarius 3 to push through to Paradise?
Permission granted!
Man, thank God!