Jaded

The basic premise of innocent dreams falling
Insecurities loom in this rented room that I stall in
The backlash of a back flash is the back draft
From the cold chill that I feel whenever they call him
Exhausting, but it cost him to be season
The small sacrifices in vices that once teased him
The jealously of a region that’s got me leaving
I’m caught in between my dreams and my father at home breathing
Am I too diluted and lucid to notice
That my dad is really sick, but he’s lying so I can focus
And foreign to foreign parents, apparently I was done
He’d rather lie to my face than the fear of stressing his son
I know, but it’s unsettling to me
How do I repay the man that’s done everything for me
How do I replay the plan without forgetting what I’m getting
I’m letting you know now, you mean everything to me
You can say what you want
Believe in what is told
See people come and go
So time is never froze
The life I live is mine
My thoughts, my mind control
So read the story told
If I die a jaded soul
If I’m selfish then let me selfishly
Learn that for myself, see what you fail to see
Is by you judging, you nudging me even further
Like murder in other words, you niggas are not helping me
And I’m looking at your intentions
If you a hater, your actions are an extension
If I forgive you, I’m giving you interest
To abuse our friendship and that’s only curing the symptoms
So when it gets what I don’t feel, then I rebuild fusades
Your jealously is what’s telling me, somethings odd
How do I intrust my trust with a person that’s so obtuse
They’d rather give an excuse than just admit where they flawed
So I applaud you what’s plausible, but integrity is key
How do you glorify yourself, that’s unsettling to me
How do you sort a lie, but fortify a portion I supplied
I’m jaded, but I survive and that’s everything to me
You can say what you want
Believe in what is told
See people come and go
So time is never froze
The life I live is mine
My thoughts, my mind control
So read the story told
If I die a jaded soul
Yeahh
Die a jaded soulllll
If I die a jaded soul
Ohhhhh
If I die a jaded soul
Ohhhh
If I die a jaded soul
Ohh, ooh
If I die a jaded—
Now can you picture what I’ve painted
If I disclose my soul, could you sustain it
If I explained that my aim is more than just fame
Would you write me off as insane
Or just tainted by entertainment
I’m taming my lower self
No one else can see the aided
I used to think that my music is saving
But I guess my inner hail is what prevails until I’m shaded
For now I’m just jaded