Shameful

Been told that…
Don’t hold your hurt back you’re on reversed paths
You’re down bad, like why I did that?
Can I reverse that?
That’s too bad…
Sometimes I think back too much to relax
I’m stuck with old interruptions fucked up bout dumb shit
I focus but then we right back, I ran the same laps
My purpose I don’t deserve it I’m good on the surface
Them old days I beg for replays from friends I need you to hold me
And say I’m okay, I’m on the right way but it was far and distant
And no one missed it
Or heard me…
I build resentment
Soapbox confessions
I told you that I would be great I would stay up late just crying
Why can’t they see me and just say some nice things?
Hoo k1-
Shame I fought all for you
Insane
I stay up late stressed just fucking up again
Shame I fought all for you
Insane
I stay up late stressed just fucking up again
It’s crazy…
I’ve been neglected and when you stepped in It sets in
You brought the stress in
I swiped my wrist then
I went to school counseling and you ain’t know that I went
I couldn’t…I couldn’t take it
I tried to fade it with hatred
Cried to my teachers, who do I talk to?
Because my safest place is where all the pain is
They told me you are way too strong and you did no wrong
I doubt it
I even feel bad for feeling this bad when people going through worse things
Who am I to say I’m hurting?
Somehow I learned to love all that has hurt you
And find a home inside my stress and say I don’t deserve you
So I thought with every problem I do deserve this
If you ain’t love me I ain’t good enough I’ll put some work in
If you ain’t love me I ain’t good enough I’ll put some work in
Falling flat I wanna drown and let my body surface
Reaching now I see there never was this perfect person
Hook 2-
Shame I fought all for you
Insane
I stay up late stressed just fucking up again
Shame I fought all for you
Insane
I stay up late stressed just fucking up again
Can you love me for a moment please?
Been tryna figure out why u just see the worst in me
I’m chasing dreams to help you too while you stay fighting me
I used to plan how I’ma tell you off when you see me
When I get bank I’m just gonna flex on you so you feel stupid
But deep down I just want your heart or else this money useless
But you ain’t hearing me this message so someone else use it
To cry to when they got someone like you making them feel useless