Heavy Weight

My eyes wake to the stubborn clutch
Impelled by the weight of my lack of trust
In anybody close to me
I won’t draw a cold shoulder
Find myself a silver lining
Just to aid me in finding
A reminder of my understanding
Not to choose so carelessly
I’m sick of bearing the heavy weight
For nobody else’s sake
I’ll just lay right here and wait it out
For a touch of fate
Don’t want to feel so miserable
Under the weight of it all
I’ll keep a tight grip on the reasons why
I let anybody in at all
My mind’s cut into stone
But still hidden behind closed walls
Optimism gets the best of me
As I starve myself of dignity
Push myself to take the blame
For every shove I made I vein
To level with my calm demeanour
And pull myself back up again