Mariner Fever

I had a mild case of Mariner Fever
Not a very bad case, but a case just the same
I was casually intrigued by the citywide fervor
All stirred up by each baseball game
So I came home one night with my Mariner Fever
My wife was immune but the damage was done
When I turned on the game to appease my addiction
She went out and purchased a gun
Here’s to Randy and Edgar and Tino and Junior
Dave Neihaus, the Groz, and to Joey and Jay
They’re the ones who infected the Emerald City
With something that won’t go away
I went to a doctor for Mariner Fever
She said she was sure it would weaken right down
When the astro-turf pollen inside of the Kingdome
Had settled in some other town
Soon the plague had gone eastward and made it to Cleveland
The folks in Ohio were not very pleased
They were up to their ears in some Indian virus
Systemically taunted and chronically teased
Here’s to Sojo and Bosio and Benes and Blowers
To Belcher and Strange and to luck and to Lou
They’re the ones who infected a whole population
Who had nothing better to do
So if you were afflicted with Mariner Fever
Remember that help is a phone call away
There’s a 1−800 number for special diseases
Erupting on Election Day
It’s a hot-line to action, the State Legislature
So ever-responsive with votes on the line
With emergency sessions to build some new ballpark
When the old one is working just fine
The old one is working just fine
Here’s to Norm Rice (the mayor) and Lowrey (the governor), and Mariner Fever
And to all of the folks who stood up for the team
If they made the same effort to fight against homelessness
Hunger and AIDS
Unemployment, and ignorance
crime and confusion
Injustice, intolerance
Racists and drug deals
And domestic violence
That would be okay with me
I’d have Mariner Fever with glee