Traitor

It was an accidental mishap that started it all
but no turning back
i felt cheated by the way that they eloquently
interrogated me
i could see just what they wanted
and to avoid confrontation
shied away from the truth
allowed to go i realised
in haste i’d left just lies behind
oh lord, will you
hold me, cradled in the palm of your hand
as i, i hear your voice,
still i don’t understand
why you, you care for me,
a traitor who’s returned
again
you gave your life so unselfishly up for me
though i never asked you
you have never turned your back on me despite the fact
i do it frequently
lord, you know i love you
i adore you,
i live for you, jesus
please, help me with consistency
i don’t understand
why i can’t live like you command,
full of love
like you have for me