The Dirtiest Song that Ain't

I’ve been 'round for a long time
And I learned along the way:
If you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can’t say!
Well, I thought hard about it
And I found a way around it
Help me go on the radio, you gotta say the words I can’t.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t.
Come on, ma’am, won’t you give me your hand
And say the words I can’t?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t
Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice…
So I reached down between us
And I whipped out my…
Skipped right past the suckin'
And got right down to…
She turned and said: «I gotta ask,
Would you slip it into my…»
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can’t.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t.
Come on, ma’am, won’t you give me your hand
And say the words I can’t?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t
Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother…
I didn’t wanna wrastle
With this no-good stinkin'…
I heard him come through the kitchen door
When I was bangin' his filthy…
I knew I’d end up in a ditch
If he caught me ridin' his…
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can’t.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t.
Come on, ma’am, won’t you give me your hand
And say the words I can’t?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t
«Mercy, please!"I told him,
But he grabbed me by the…
And he did something heinous
He exposed his…
I said «I don’t mean to seem crass,
But why are you buttering up your…»
He said «My wife’s a beard, and she lured you here.
'Cause I’m queer and I love it in the…»
Help me go on the radio by saying the words I can’t.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain’t.
Sir and ma’am, thanks for lending a hand.
By saying the words I can’t.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song,
The filthiest song,
The dirtiest song that ain’t.