Coin Operated Goi

Coin operated goi
Scary but it’s true
He is not a Jew
He won’t dance the horah
Won’t light the menorah
And it’s not a lie
He ain’t even circumcised
Oi!
Coin operated goi
I’m not so sure that he’s kosher
Despite what is in the brochure
Everything he eats is wrapped in ham
Plus he tried to pork me in the can
I should go and ask my Rabbi
If it’s a sin if he and I
Do it through a small hole in a sheet
Just big enough to slip my kosher meat
Groin masticated joy, oh boy!
Coin operated goi
Can’t hang with the Moyles
He ain’t got the curls
I say we convert him
It ain’t gonna hurt him
Well, maybe down below
He will have to undergo
A groin operation ploy
His bris we’ll perform
To make his schmuck deformed
The Moyle gets a dollar
If he makes him holler
To make his schmuck more slim
We’ll chop off his foreskin!
Give it to the waiter
He’ll bless it for seder
We’ll nosh on it later
Oh I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
I want a
For Rosh Hashanah
A coin operated goi, oh boy!
Coin operated goi
Scary but it’s true
He was not a Jew
But honestly, no schitzvah
He had a Bar Mitzvah
Now he’s kosher too
He just like me and you
A coin operated Jew!