You Can't Win

I never wanted to fall from the top of the world but here I am
And now I am tired and fucking ugly and I hate it but it’s all I can be
Locked up, fucked up but I know I’m not the only one
I hear that life goes on, but I guess just not for everyone
Consumed by bliss that now all I do is miss
The memories can make me happy but now I’m fucking pissed!
Hopeless
Irrationally searching every single dimension to find a way to bring me closer
to you
It’s night like these when my jaw is being pried off the sides of my face and
it feels as if somehow I swallowed a fucking shoe
I want to tear out my throat so just for a minute I might be able to finally
breathe
What has happened to me?
Not a day goes by when I didn’t wish I were still living in September 2005
I never wanted to live this way or to feel this pain
And I can’t stop asking why
Now I see that life is just a game
Sometimes everyday with out you, is another day I wish I didn’t have to go
through
It still hits me like a brick everyday and it will never go away
I never wanted you to go away
I hang my head deep into my chest, tormented to realize that for now this is
the best
I want my life back, I want your life back more than anything
I never wanted to fall from the top of the world but here I am, and to some
degree I always feel like shit because your… Gone, forever
Gone, taken from me
Gone, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I used to think depression had nothing to do with me
Now every day of my life I’m faced with despair and misery
Because some dumb fucking asshole made some bad choices, and he landed on you,
and we all pay the price… Now I know the meaning of being alone