The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over

{Excited Southerner):
Yes.yes I do… and uh there is an explanation for that… first of all. let me
Start off by saying… I…I…I…I…I…you…you…you… you… work very
Hard… and I do respect what you do… protectin and uh
Servin… I…I…I…speedometer…got the… lead foot… you got the radar
Gun… not reliable… I…I…got the diarrhea… got to… get home. for
The… whoo…it…uh…it pregnant wife… she's at the hospital right
Now… giving birth to twins… I gotta get there… got…the guy next to me
Was… going faster than me… just keeping up… with the traffic… my
Cousin’s…also a state trooper… in New Jersey… maybe you could talk to… a
Tree branch was… covering the speed limit sign… with a… and a truck was
Tailgating me… I just hope…
(Cop):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Here’s your ticket. Save it for the judge