Ouncare

No one raps anymore like they did in 1998, when a song went to number 24 on the
billboard chart list
Still Not A Player was the title, and Big Punisher was the artist
I’m not sure if you remember it much or not
But if you know the chorus, show me what’cha got
«I don’t wanna be a player no more»
«I'm not a player I just crush a lot»
Now, half way through the song’s duration, Pun and a woman have a conversation,
he says to her
«I can go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere»
Ya know, grooming standards were different in the nineties
But she says, «you nasty»
And his reply you ask me?
Well, he says, «Ouncare,» not I don’t care, but a rhyme for downstairs and
brown hairs
Ouncare
Which doesn’t really work
Ouncare
I mean, «oun» is not a word
Ouncare
It’s like you can’t take the words «I don’t» and rhyme them with brown and down
Ouncare
That defies all conventions
Ouncare
It’s downright unorthodox
Ouncare
Big Pun, you’re not afraid to break the rules, and frankly, I’m inspired
Galileo said we orbit the sun, not the reverse
David killed Goliath despite his height and girth
Columbus said the earth wasn’t flat, but round
And my man Big Pun wrote a rap with oun
See, they defied the conventional wisdom, each had a conviction many would say
is dumb
But they didn’t care, and Pun showed he didn’t care by pronouncing
«I don’t care» uncaringly, ouncare
See, it’s a mini manifesto for saying «yes»
When the rest of the world says «no»
It’s like don’t let the bastards get you down
Believe in yourself and think on your oun
And, if you think the reason Pun fudged it is 'cause he couldn’t rhyme it,
then you misjudged it
There’s a million easy ways to finish that couplet, and here’s just a few I
came up with
He could’ve said, «I can go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere,
how 'bout oral sex, does that sound fair?»
Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, I got my face up in your lounge
wear!»
Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, wet and fuzzy like a drowned
bear!»
Or, «downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere, open in the middle like a town
square»
The point is, shoot for the moon
Soar like you’re a balloon
Go ape, you baboon
Break the cocoon
I know Pun doesn’t care, now show me that youn
Everybody say «ouncare»
Your goals are unrealistic
Ouncare
There are lots of really good reasons why you can’t accomplish what you want
Ouncare
You won’t get that promotion
Ouncare
You won’t earn that degree
Ouncare
You’re not as young as you used to be
Ouncare
The person you like is outta your league
Ouncare
Albert Einstein, you didn’t talk 'till the age of four, man
You can’t be a scientist!
Ouncare
Michael Jordan, you were cut from your high school ball team, you can’t play NBA
Ouncare
Zach Sherwin, you can’t write a rap song about one obscure lyric from another
rap song that wasn’t even that famous in the nineties, and expect it to become
a number one hit record
Ouncaaaaaaaaaare!
Ouncare