Flab Slab

Once there was a boy, quiet, shy
A chubby, sensitive, bookish little guy
He had a real name by which his folks knew him
But Flab Slab is how we’ll refer to him
A flab slab, how would we define that?
That’d be like a big flat thick slice of fat
And that’s the unfortunate nickname he got
From Randall, the nastiest kid in the sixth grade
Who preyed on Flab Slab’s weakness
Mocked his supposed obeseness
He would roll up on him at recess
And call him the name that made him feel deep shame and depressed
Flab Slab was Randall’s primary
Target, and it was quite scary
Eventually, he stopped going out to the playground
And just holed up in the library
Flab Slab
He mistreats you
You’re his victim
He’s your tormentor
How much
Will you stand for?
What do you stand for?
Frightened little awkward boy, sitting, looking at books
One day instead of playing outside
Flab Slab trudged glumly to the lib
Where displayed prominently he saw
A biography of Muhammad Ali
Flab Slab took one look at the book
And after one page he was hooked
He devoured it in a single sitting
And had an idea that sent his head spinning
When he got home, he asked Mom and Pops a question
Could they sign him up for boxing lessons?
He’d never shown any interests in sports before
But they said, «Yes of course, for sure»
And I’m not gonna go into a montage scene
Where he turns into a lean, mean, fighting machine
He just learned the basics of how to throw a punch
Which made his self-esteem grow a bunch (Hmph!)
Flab Slab
You have had it
You won’t stand it
Anymore
Take a stand and
Show 'em what you stand for
What do you stand for?
Fighting lessons and battle skills, learning about boxing
Weeks passed, Flab Slab biding his time
Training, remaining, and hiding until one faithful day
When the teacher said, «Okay, class, it’s time to go play»
Flab Slab’s heart was beating at a fast rate
As he walked out with the rest of his classmates
But he felt strong, no anxiety
As he went and he read quietly by a tree
Suddenly, a shadow darkened the page
Flab knew a battle was about to be waged
Randall knocked his novel in the dirt
Pulled him to his feet by the collar of his shirt
Kids gathered 'round like they do when a fight occurs
Randall said «I'm gonna punch out those lights of yours»
Flab thought of the things he had learned
In the ring, took a swing, and ding ding ding
Randall was a goner, Flab Slab stood there dominantly
And as calm as could be
He said «My moniker’s an honor to me
Cause it means I’m like Muhammad Ali»
Look closely, you’ll see it’s the initials of
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee
Flab Slab
That name you hated
You reclaimed it
You made it yours
And now we
Know what you stand for
And so we’re finished, later, adios, bye
Sayounara, love, and, BREAK!