Steady Straight Lights/Sudden Dark Turns

I’ve never been normal
I’ve always been lost
Always had a voice in the back of my head that for some reason never shuts off
Meaning it’s never quiet
Not even a moment of silence
Not even for a second when I lay my head down and I close my eyelids
You should try this new diet
You should really try harder
You’re fraudulent
You never finish anything, just like your father
You think you’re so clever, don’t you?
«The Makeshift Martyr»
What school did you go to?
Oh, that’s right. You didn’t bother
Now it bothers you
Affects every pore, and every molecule
You’re too stupid to see that nobody likes you, that’s why you sit alone in
solitude
Although you’re aware of your apathy
You manage to hide it fantastically
Masquerading around like you’re happy but in reality you are actually
Tormented with more attention
Most people would adore the mentions
But you suffer in silence
Sit here quiet, dull your senses
And annul your sentences
Everything you’ve ever said
Your John Cusak
They want their two dollars
You’re better off dead
Is there no one who can help me?
(Anxiety)
All the things you swore solemnly
(Anxiety)
Even your mom confessed
When it comes to you she’s unimpressed
Somebody please put me out of my misery
Wait
You think I wanted it to be this way?
I could be like my high school friends, in jail or passed away
That’s why I keep all the things I think and feel stashed away
The doctor gives me pills to mask the symptoms, keeps them all at bay
And I just float through life
I’m a muted version of me
I’m more high now that I’m clean than back when I was a junkie
How does that make sense?
Why is my throat so lumpy?
How come I’m sure that the devil’s below me but god couldn’t be above me?
I’m an eccentric artist. That’s what I tell myself
But I’m pretty sure that when people meet me they’re convinced I’m retarded as
hell
What if I OD’d from 80 MG OC’s
And then snort enough cocaine to make a polar bear’s nose freeze?
That was the old me
I swear to god I’ve changed
To those that know me well, they’d also tell you I’m not the same
But it’s still in me, and if that switch gets flipped
I’ll drag all you motherfuckers back to hell with me
Is there no one who can help me?
(Anxiety)
All the things you swore solemnly
(Anxiety)
Even your mom confessed
When it comes to you she’s unimpressed
Somebody please put me out of my misery