Ad Nauseam

Staring through the windows
Raining. Freezing
Shades of grey rainbow
Floating. Lying
Oh, I just wish it was all over
But today I have a date with her
In a place. Or nowhere. Or here. Somewhere
My guts are hurting me
Something is wrong. Going wrong
I wished it was just shyness
But it’s something far, far, far deeper
I feel like puking. Strangling.
Laughing. Crying. Cutting. Burning
If only she had been a Saint
I never saw the light of a Saint
But she was just a whore
Again
She said she didn’t like to swallow
But she has now pure life on her tongue
If only it was blood!
Waking up, tired and already exhausted
Bored or depressed. Ah fuck it!
I knew something was wrong
Staring at her, lying on the ground
Shaking. Sweating
Nothing pure in this life to be found
Even in its liquor
How weird the fluids of life are so disgusting
Living. Ad Nauseam.