Resilient

I can’t seem to go a day
Without my sense of self worth
Being crushed by the people around me
I’m the only one to blame
For my Sadistic choice of company
A whole life spent inside my mind
Always smiled and said I’m fine
I’m becoming somewhat resilient
To these so called friends opinions
I don’t know how I’m supposed to relate to anyone
When I can’t make sense of my head
I can’t expect anyone to understand it
Not a single thought just passes by
Everyone of them gets trapped inside my mind
I thoughtsome things were forever
When we sailed on this endeavour
But the places I called home
Were never set in stone
I wish someone had of told me
Because I loved you all like family
Thought it would go either way
When it was me in need you stay
And If I had my time again
I’d keep it all inside my head
Because Honesty gets you nowhere
In this backwards world
Where fake smiles and puffed up rhetoric
Have more value than anything authentic
Trailing dark thoughts to their endth degree
Doesn’t leave much room to work on things like personality
On my best days I’m amused but jaded
I’m starting to find consciousness rather overrated