My Inner Sanctum

In a shaded doorway
Watching the spirits at play,
Through a cracked and shimmering window to the world;
Through my surprise, welling up in my eyes:
Your soul;
Bleeding, old; a deep well of love:
Sepulchral, cold.
The crowning glory swathed in fear,
The brave action recoiling into futility.
To my knees glancing upward,
There flies pain: mine.
Deep ecstasy traces desire.
Hidden places, lost hold;
No one to sustain reality,
My love erases me.
I turn around to go,
The world around me flows through my body.
The bitter realization contains the happy seed: yes, me.
The crowning glory swathed in fear,
The brave action recoiling into futility.
To my knees glancing upward,
There flies pain: mine.
Weak and stumbling,
Gloriously breathing still dawn’s air,
That part of me now lost forever,
It wanders lonely in the dark.
Battle-weary I remain
Inconsistency remarked,
Though seemingly complete.
The soul bears not
Such vacuous conceit.
God damn you!
How can I bear to see your face?
Your every tear reveals my cowering disgrace.
To my knees, glancing inward:
My inner sanctum.