Michael's Soliloquy

But first, allow me to tell you a little bit more about myself. If you want to
climb a ladder you have to start at the bottom. We all know how a ladder works
don’t we? Born and raised a sort of military brat I saw the world from my crib.
Belgium, The Czech Republic, and so much more. It’s obvious the last
deployment my father had, the one to really stick culturally was that of the
Queen’s Britannia. My father’s constant upheaval of the family certainly didn’t
allow me to remain clutching the silver spoon when I sat down in the morning
with my Belgian waffle dipped in cream
But these circumstances paired with my beloved mother’s angelic and prolific
doting instilled a variety of social skills, only a nomadic wanderer of the
like could develop
Without these skills I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to work with such a
Thoughtful
Generous
Handsome
Congenital
Conceptual
Untimely bunch as I do now
In the beginning the pay was quite shit. But that’s how it is on the lower
rungs of life’s ladder. For an inexperienced voice it was a chance to use all
the practice talking I’ve done my entire life. For free mind you,
to start down my own thought-path of success. It may have been a bumpy road
but I sure talked my way around any obstacle that would arise
I did it all; from announcements of break times at Sunbelt’s Cellular
Engineering facilities to answering calls at the clubs switchboard,
barely a promotion above pencil sharpener. To product description voice overs
and Not. Pen. Co’s torrid infomercials
Yes! That was me describing the comfort of the
Convenient-Caddy-Hypoallergenic-Body-Mop and the incredible ease of the
Dripless-Perception-Enhancing-Beutification-Dropper
I made viewers foam at the mouth while grasping tightly onto their phones.
This did not go unnoticed. The ladder was mine for the taking as my talent was
discovered by management. He told his manager, and she told hers.
And pretty soon they all told theirs and the name Michael was on the tips of
all the important tongues at the Bermuda triangle of select-able perception
The Belt
The Club
And the, well, Not. Pen. Co
With the local chapter’s House Band gaining notoriety amonxed them beyond their
peers, I was approached with a challenge of sorts and another step up the
all-knowing ladder. I was to be a spokes-voice for the club as it’s group
ventured into very new territory. That’s right, another record. They have done
it before and that was new territory as well, at the time. But it grew old!
Boring, tiresome, so they did as many of us do, the same thing,
but rather a little different this time. Enter Michael. With a fresh,
and very different, what’s the word, thing!, Different from the first and
different from the last at the same time
The golden voice that tickles the eardrums like Tito Puente on his conga
Look At Me Now
Look. At. Me. Now
And look up at me now! So lofty on the ladder. Promotions may include more
responsibility, like keeping a listener entertained for an entire song.
But what else is there to strive for but advancement before we all take a long
nap in the dirt. Besides, I have plenty to talk about. You’d have to be to be a
vegetable not to have a litany of subjects to shout about in the modern world,
and I am of course a litigious and modern Michael. Can you imagine the
egregious amounts of information poured onto my plate on a daily basis.
Unless I’m speaking in tongues to those who died in the earths upper-most
layer of crust, I believe you can
So much to talk about that I can’t possibly pick one topic
I mean it
Not a one
This often happens to me, my train of though slows, the stuttered choo choo as
my mind gathers up what’s in my lap and tries to make sense of it all
In a world born of conflict and competitors starved for your attention as
you’re studied and targeted, rather effectively, how does one remain breathing
without going mad? The modern man chooses their brand of madness,
while the modern men argue over the best brands. I have chosen to enter a sort
of «climbing the ladder» reality. When the world continues in chaos,
I’ll always have my delirious goal
You may laugh at my choice, but I take comfort knowing that you simply don’t
understand my version of delusion. And when all is said and done,
the mindset I’ve engaged is the only that can lead someone to such grand
tutelage
Boss, President, Prime Minister, Figurehead, even, dare I say, King. Imagine it.
Michael at the doors the penthouse as he commands the inevitable
King me