Baby's Got the Car Keys

Daddy put the keys in his pocket when he walked into the house
Or did he put them on the table by the telephone?
He thinks that’s where he left them, he really isn’t sure
He knows he had to have them just to get inside the door
Mom’s in the kitchen lookin' on the shelf
She says this kind of panic is a hazard to her health
Time to go to work, time to go to school
And everybody’s looking like a fool
Baby’s got the car keys and she’s crawling down the hall
She’s a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks
And she’s not even 3 feet tall
She puts them in the toy box and rattles them around
Drops them in her diaper, now they can’t be found
Time to go to work, time to go to school
And everybody’s looking like a fool
Digging in the sofa gets a dollar, fifty cents
A toothpick, a candy bar, a dozen fountain pens
Chaos in the living room, disaster in the den
Sister says she saw 'em but she can’t say when
Tick-tock the car is locked, Daddy’s going into shock
Smelly, dirty diapers on the breeze
Dad says he’ll change it, but baby’s got to wait
Until he finds those dad gum keys
Baby’s got the car keys and she’s crawling down the hall
She’s a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks
And she’s not even 3 feet tall
The baby starts to giggle, there’s something in her hand
That booger drops a wallet in the garbage can
Time to go to work, time to go to school
And everybody’s looking like a fool
Mom’s on the telephone trying to call a cab
Daddy’s changing baby’s diaper in the living room
The baby’s on the table with a bottle in her mouth
Daddy opens up the diaper, he begins to shout
Treasure in the diaper, treasure in the muck
It sure looks a lot like the keys to the truck
Time to go to work, time to go to school
And everybody’s looking like a fool
Baby’s got the car keys and she had them all along
She’s a cute little pickpocket, sticky-fingered Goldilocks
And she’s not even 3 feet tall
The party isn’t over, they’re about to find out
Daddy threw away his wallet when he took the garbage out
Time to go to work, time to go to school
And everybody’s looking like a fool
Time to go to work, time to go to school
Everybody’s looking just like a fool