Secret Handshake

Jumping up and down on public transportation
Moses in a dress is addressing the nation
I got plans for the man
I got the fire inside
Walking down Wall Street, raining businessmen
Hand some money to a cop cuz policemen are your friends
Searching for the Buddha underneath the apple tree
Who knows the words of wisdom and speaks them unto me
Maybe you think it’s funny
I’m one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
Gimme ten grand or two tens
Spend it all on my friends
Babe my secret handshake is my song
Sitting in the park it’s a perfect sunny day
Even stupid pigeons sort of look ok
Old lady in a car makes a big mistake
Steps on the gas thinking it’s the brake
Happened very fast right before my very eyes
But it didn’t make any sense till I watched the news at five
Somewhere in Montana there’s someone who understands
Although we’ve never met, right now we’re shaking hands
Downtown in a gallery there was free food and wine
Big thoughts hung from the walls, some of them were mine
An usher said no pointing but he did not have a gun
Everybody cheered when the cardinal killed his son
If anything is art that someone pays you for
Then I have met Picasso, mistook him for a whore
Hate the corporate world but I shop there when I must
This is the secret handshake that means you’re one of us
Maybe you think it’s funny
I’m one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
If you’ve got ten grand or just two tens
And spend it all on your friends
Then you can’t get this secret handshake wrong