Don't Tell I Tell 'ee

Well I’ve never been to school, never been to college
Sooner be dead that stuff me head with a load of useless knowledge
I never couldn’t see no point in history
'Cos I weren’t there, so I don’t care,
So don’t tell I, tell 'E!
Don’t tell I, tell 'E, that’s my philosophy
When folks do swear, and tear their hair,
Don’t tell I, tell 'E!
Young Sarah Jones one day, got in the family way
Her father come, with a gurt big gun, said he «You'll have to pay.»
He chased I up a tree, and I hollered «Leave I be,
'Cos I happen to know it were your son Joe,
So don’t blame I, blame 'E!
Repeat While cyclin' out one night, a PC came in sight,
He’ll make it hot, 'cos I ain’t got no brakes, no bell, no light.
«I'll sling the book at thee,» that copper said with glee,
I said «Sling all you like, 'tis your Dad’s bike,
So don’t blame I, blame «E!»
Repeat Now we got a lift to town, with good old Farmer Brown
On a ten ton truck, with a load o' muck, and when he set us down
A drink we did agree, it would be good for we,
The barmaid rose, she 'eld 'er nose, I said,
«Don't smell I, smell 'E!»
Repeat Old vicar came along, he said «You know, 'tis wrong,
That you gets tight on a Friday night,» I answered he real strong.
«Now vicar you’ll agree, the Lord created me,
And I’m afraid, that’s how I’m made,
So don’t tell I, tell 'E!»
Repeat (twice)