The Funniest Thing

Don’t take me anywhere
Don’t send me presents anymore
I’ve not got much; the piss is gone
You’ve taken it out of me so long
Those sweet mellow eyes — I’ve read them entirely wrong
Hey, could you have told me any earlier
Here’s me thinking no-one was a better man
How long have you been living with him anyway?
You know the funniest thing about him
Is when it’s time to go
He’ll be the last to know
Hand me the big surprise
Turn 'round and close my eyes
And as a result my finger’s burnt
My character is a bloodied shirt
Those sweet mellow eyes have made me entirely worthless
Hey, could you have told me any earlier?
Here’s me thinking no-one was a better man
How long have you been living with him anyway?
You know the funniest thing about him
Is when it’s time to go
He’ll be the last to know…