Two Lovely Black Eyes

Strolling so happy down Bethnal Green
This day might have seen
Tompkins and I with his girl in-between
When it’s oh, what a surprise
I praised the Conservatives frank and free
Tompkins got angry so speedily
All in a moment he handed to me
Two lovely black eyes
Two lovely black eyes
Oh what a surprise
Only for telling a man he was wrong
I got two lovely black eyes
The next time I argued I thought it best
To give the Conservative side a rest
And the merits of Gladstone I freely pressed
When oh, what a surprise
The chap I met was a Tory true
Nothing the Liberals right could do
This was my share of the argument too
Two lovely black eyes
So the moral you caught I can hardly doubt
Never on politics rage and shout
Leave it to others to fight it out
If you should be wise
Better far better it is to let
Liberals and Tories alone you bet
Unless you’re willing and anxious to get
Two lovely black eyes