I'm Sorry About Christmas Eve

I’m too depressed and too in love to go outside today
But I’ve got a windpipe to shut off
And apart from that I can’t see anything ahead
I’m having trouble tracing this all back to when
Waking up meant something more than going back to sleep
Before being alive became exhausting
And ended up being worth less than it’s costing
But I don’t want to stumble through life shitfaced anymore
I don’t want to stumble through life shitfaced anymore
The only times I was thankful for double vision
Was when it meant that I saw more of you
That reoccurring dream is back
This time she’s dressed head to toe in black
She says she’s genuinely happy and I’m too ashamed to tell her that I’m
struggling
The horrible things found their way back
They highlight all the strength that I lack
Another week lost to being in bed
There’s only dead ends up ahead
I’m so scared of all these dead ends up ahead
Please help me turn this thing around
Please help me turn this thing around
Please help me turn this thing around
Please help me turn this thing around
Please help me turn this thing around
I hear your voice but I can’t seem to turn around
But I’ve been getting by by replaying the sound
I don’t want to be back at that tree ever again
I don’t want to be back at that tree ever again
Don’t want to go swinging by or swinging from
Swinging by or swinging from
I don’t want to end up in that state again
And so I won’t