I Wish I Were a Prostitute Again

He dressed up as a bunny
And licked my little foot
He gave me lots of money
To thrash his naughty butt
And sing when he was done
He dressed me up as King Tut
My life was much more funny
And more entertaining then
I wish I were a prostitute again
He paid me for my urine
He paid for my poo
Dressed like the Shroud of Turin
Costumed as Betty Boop
Or as Martin van Buren
Or in a hula hoop
I sold him life insurance
And I pocketed the pen
I wish I were a prostitute again
I got him his own collar
Custom-made, studded with jewels
I made him hoot and holler
With my very special tools
I am a classics scholar
Because he put me through schools
He had twelve million dollars
Until he gave me ten
I wish I were a prostitute again
I was too busy shopping
To cavort with other men
I wish I were a prostitute again