Christmas in Lancashire

Well it’s Christmas in Lancashire
And snow is on’t ground
But I’m not feelin' festive
'cos me wireless networks gone down
I can’t even listen to Cliff Richard or Slade
'cos battery in th’iPod has seen better days
It’s Christmas again
Digibox is up spout
I had 50 channels
But now I’ve got nowt
No ITV 4 or price-drop.tv
It’s reruns of Sinbad and Queen’s speech for thee
I can’t even BitTorrent Morecambe & Wise
'cos me 8 meg broadband’s bust, I’m cut down to size
No credit on’t mobile so I can’t send a text
This technology at Christmas oh it does get me vexed
I got some mince pies and left Santa a drink
But I couldn’t make eggnog 'cos blenders on’t blink
I got my friends round for Christmas but then asked them to leave
'cos I’m reformatting th’hard drive
On Christmas Eve
It’s Christmas again
Digibox is up spout
I had 50 channels
But now I’ve got nowt
No ITV 4 or price-drop.tv
It’s reruns of Sinbad and Queen’s speech for thee
Well I jumped in me car
Got to visit the folk
Got Sat Nav for Christmas
'cos me sense of direction’s a joke
I entered th’addresses
The screen I did touch
But I got bloomin' lost
'cos the woman spoke Dutch!
It’s Christmas again
Digibox is up spout
I had 50 channels
But now I’ve got nowt
No ITV 4 or price-drop.tv
It’s reruns of Sinbad and Queen’s speech for thee
All the best for the Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
From Lancashire Hotpots
Oh its come back on look