The Unfortunate Miss Bailey

A captain bold in Halifax, who dwelt in country quarters, seduced a maid who
hung herself one Monday in her garters
His wicked conscience smitted him
He lost his stomach daily
He took to drinking ratafia and tho’t upon Miss Bailey
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey!
One night betimes he went to bed for he had caught the fever. Said he, «I am a handsome man and I’m a gay deceiver.»
His candle just a twelve o’clock began to burn quite palely
A ghost stepped up to his bedside and said, «Behold, Miss Bailey!»
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey!
«Avast, Miss Bailey,» then he cried, «you can’t affright me, really.
««Dear Captain Smith,» the ghost replied, «you used me ungenteelly
The coroner’s quest goes hard with me because I’ve acted freely and Parson
Biggs won’t bury me tho' I’m a dead Miss Bailey.»
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey!
«Dear Ma’am,» says he, «since you and I must once for all accounts close,
I have a one pound note in my regimental small clothes
'Twill bribe the sexton for your grave.» The ghost then answered gaily, «Bless you, wicked Captain Smith, remember poor Miss Bailey!»
Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey!
«All's well that ends well, I suppose.»