
Have you ever had an uninvited guest? Why did you wear sweatpants the day she wore that dress? You put a book on it, your woody wouldn’t quit Think of disgusting things and don’t encourage it And then it starts to ache, zipper’s about to break You’re using every trick to try to tame your trouser snake Listen and listen good, don' t cover up your wood A woody never should Ever have to be caged or blocked Unlock your jock Just let it pop Like a jack in the box Show 'em that your willy works A stiffy shouldn’t have to hurt Make em scream «oh my god» As you shock 'em with your lightning rod Baby, let your mojo rise It doesn’t matter what the size You don’t have to feel ashamed Like Miley it just can’t be tamed Boing, boing, boing Even bigger than a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing Sometimes it can be annoying-noying-noying But now your confidence is growing Put your package on display Even if they scream and run away You’re the jockey of your one-eyed horse I’m talking bout your dong, of course Someday when you’re old and bored You’ll wish that you had shown it more It’s the reason that the world was born Every girl believes in unicorns Doing, ding, dong Someday random chubbies will be gone Doing, ding, dong Can’t believe I wrote a whole schlong song
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