Passover for Dummies

The Pharaoh came from Egypt and said
«Have you heard the news?
Holy freakin' crap- We’re being
Over run by Jews!
There’s gotta be a better way
Something must be done!
I know what we’ll do!
We’ll kill their first born sons!»
I guess their plan would have worked
But Jesus, Mary, Joseph!
A badass Jewish son was born
His mother named him Moses
Frogs and lice, blood and disease
Locusts and freezing rain
But it all passed over the Jews
That’s right, hence the name
And I don’t know bout you but it seems
Something ain’t quite kosher
Oy vey will the Jews ever have
A happy Passover?
I guess he looked Goyish enough
Or no one looked too hard
But they got tipped off when he
Killed an Egyptian guard
Then Moses said «Oh no, some heavy
Shit be goin' down
I better go and take my ass and
Run it out of town!»
Perhaps he drank bad cactus juice
Or his brain turned to mush
When he saw God talk to him from
Inside a burning bush
Frogs and lice, blood and disease
Locusts and freezing rain
But it all passed over the Jews
That’s right, hence the name
And I don’t know bout you but it seems
Something ain’t quite kosher
Oy vey will the Jews ever have
A happy Passover?
Moses went to get the Jews
But Egypt nearly flipped
So God set out to curse them
With some heavy fucked up shit!
They took off for the desert fast
Or soon they would be dead
But before they went, they said
«Hey guys, let’s bake some bread!»
They saw that was a bad idea
They had to make it fast, see-
So that’s why it was kind of flat
And tasted pretty nasty
Egyptians were hot on their trail
Ready for the slaughter
But the Jews were in good shape
Till they encountered water
Frogs and lice, blood and disease
Locusts and freezing rain
But it passed over all the Jews
That’s right, hence the name
And I don’t know bout you but it seems
Something ain’t quite kosher
Oy vey will the Jews ever have
A happy Passover?
They knew it was all over and
The end was near for sho'!
Till Moses said, «I'll show you all
A neat trick that I know.»
So he parted the water and
The Jews they did escape
But not so much for Egyptians
Who met their watery fate
The Jews had a good laugh at this
But God made them think twice
And now Passover they recall
That wasn’t very nice
Frogs and lice, blood and disease
Locusts and freezing rain
But it passed over all the Jews
That’s right, hence the name
But there’s a happy ending here
To this first Passover
The Jews soon found the promised land
I think they call it Boca