This Is It

Someone hold my hand because on this date I feel so alone
Is it the age or the number, that’s got me down?
Say some sounds that lose high ground
They stumble, tumble make me fall
Feels, I look behind me
I say, «Was that it?»
«When d’you go?»
«I dunno
Tomorrow or something»
One drink, two drinks
«I packed the kitchen sink
Might not fit in my new flat»
«I'll come up to your halls on Saturday»
«Really?»
«Yeah! Won’t fuss, won’t stress
Megabus, National Express
I would fuck an M1 just to see my best mate»
«That sounds great»
«Yeah, sounds great»
«How's it going at work?»
«Could be worse»
«When does your new wage come through?»
«Not a clue
End of the month or something»
Three drinks, four
«One more?»
«Sure, fella
Two Stellas, please
I guess we’ll have these and we’ll say goodnight
Part ways into an empty night
It’s gonna be alright, isn’t it?»
«Yeah mate, yeah
It’ll be fine»
Oh shit, it just hit
It just hit that this is it
Oh shit, it just hit
It just hit that this is it
Hit that this is it
Hit that this is it
Love can change up teenage scenes
They fade with all the silver skene
At the end of my bed
Out of my head
That I still see
Lay my things right where they are
So they’re still here when I get home
I once, for the
When I get home
I’m next to the place my dad watched his son grow
The only home I’ve ever known
I’m lying like a foetus in the middle of the road
Trying to stick to it like velcro
I take the ground’s crisp white sheet
And curl up a pillow
Trying to wrap up in the orange streetlight glow
But the light is nothing more than a bland, sodium dribble
The tarmac is black
The concrete is cold
But I dare not stand back up
'Cause I’m terrified of the long night approaching
My nostrils curl at the hollow scent of water milk proaching
Ah, fuck, I’m twenty!
This is it
What the fuck am I doing
A twenty-year-old man throwing a tantrum
Haunting himself, a child’s ghost, yesterday’s phantom
There’s more to life than this
Hope is a solace
Oh shit, it just hit
It just hit that this is it
Oh shit, it just hit
It just hit that this is it
Hit that this is it
Hit that this is it
I stand back up
Hope is a solace
Lips so stiff its tough
And I look down my road to the sleepy houses
Rows of homes dwindling into an empty dream
But I paint my own
A sea of blue and greens, of gold and silver
With smells heavy and sweet
Ah, fuck, I’m twenty
But hope is a solace
This is it