Suicide Letters

This is a piece that I wrote
When I was on some ole, low down down low feelin, depressed shit
Y’know what I’m sizzlin?
It contains, heh, three suicide letters to my peeps
Well actually uh two suicide letters
Y’know what I’m sizzlin?
I wrote it in rhyme form
But I’m gonna try to read it to the best of my ability
Y’know what I’m sizzlin?
So bear with me
Listen to the lyrics, check it out.
Picture me in that casket, blasted
Never nobody knew how long the pain lasted
Keep my eyes tight I’m frightened
But I fights like Tyson
When playin' this game of life I’m losin', longin' to be enlightened
Absorb my mind state
Reduce the crime rate and take me out
When runnin' toward the Lord I see 'em fake me out
Shook me so from church I played hookie
Listen to the words of a brotha
The sick stutter
So ya better better get the get the bags ready
Comin' killa killa like Scagnetti
My brains contaminated, hella rotten
It wasn’t me who killed you (Who was it, what was it)
The affects of the mildew, my brains wilted
In my eyes the world is a bit tilted
Lord take me away before somebody else get killed
Bloods spills seriously
This is the letter to my homies I’ll be missin'
God told me to behold a pale horse but I didn’t listen
It’s hard mane
My life is scarred mane
I’m losin' my mind
So now it’s time
Sincerely signed N9ne
(I just wanna die)
I don’t wanna wake up
I don’t wanna cause that’s the way
That I feel I’m barely hangin on
(I just wanna die)
I don’t wanna wake up
I don’t wanna wake up cause that’s the way
It has to be
(Man, this is to my wife, check it out)
I made your life a livin' hell with my infidelity
Remember you tell me
All I gave a damn about was weed, stems, and melodies
Remeber ya spent thirty minutes in the hospital parking lot crying
When the blood test read the baby of another woman was mine
Should’ve left long time ago like Mary J. say
Just let it go like Ray J
I know your momma heard you yelling May Day
Spent my life trying to R A to the P
You were sick of me always being B to the R O K to the E
There was nothing else left for me
I was a bum
But you still wanted some
Through the rain, snow, and thunder
Foul-ups, bleeps, and blunders
But no man shall tear a sunder is what you said
Shoulda put multi bullets in my head
When you found that Evil Instinct was a song
But the events actually went on
This is the letter
To my homie, my friend who put up with me for 8
So now to take me really quickly’s my fate
I’m sorry
For makin it hard
I know you’re scarred
I’m losin' my mind
So now it’s time
Sincerely signed N9ne
I love y’all
The dynamic duo, my babies
It ain’t your fault that your daddies crazy
Donny I miss you drummin'
Like me, one day you’ll be rulin'
Lilly I miss you always in my face yellin' «Daddy what ya dooyin'?»
You two are the reason why I’m still standin' today
But I’m sixteen-hundred miles away
And it gets my heart sinkin'
When I start thinkin' 'bout you babies
I heavily start drinkin' on a daily
Puffin', I see in my heart I gots to toughin'
Can’t see me leavin' my angels with nothin'
So I keep bustin'
Use my pain
For you two I gotta come up in the game
Fly planes to an island so one day you can do the same with yours
Love you galore and I ain’t playin'
Makin' me put a end to the suicidal mindstate sayin'
(Tech N9ne says this during the chorus)
Ya, thats what a nigga was on y’know what I’m sizzlin'? Sh.
But as you can tell
Like I said, I can’t leave my angels with nothin'
So I gotta keep bustin', y’know what I’m sayin'?
Suicide ain’t my thang
Never ever gonna be my thang when I know I got my love
So we just gon sit back
Write these rhymes, make these mills
And chill
Don Juan
Tech N9ne