I Want To Be Well

To think that I would die this time
Isolated in the room where the bed rises
Photographic ordinary people are everywhere
Extraordinary histories, ordinary histories, ordinary histories
I’ll find sleep, I’ll find peace, or in death you’ll sleep with me.
To figure that it was my fault
Or so I’ve come to realize life is not about
Love with someone — (ordinary people are everywhere)
Extraordinary people are, ordinary people are, ordinary people are
Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn, illness is watching, waiting its turn.
Did I go at it wrong?
Did I go intentionally to destroy me?
I’m suffering in noise I’m suffering in — (touching ordinary body)
The burning from within the burning from with — (ordinary is scary now)
I could not be at rest, I could not be at peace — (extraordinary is scary now)
So do yourself a good, or do yourself a death from ordinary causes
Or do yourself a favor, or do yourself a death from ordinary causes
Endless lights prey upon the lonely, prey upon the lonely
Weightless lights, oh, I would rather be, but I would rather be fine
I want to be well, I want to be well, I want to be well, I want to be well.
And I forgive you even
As you choke me that way
With the pill or demon and the shrouding?
Under conversation
In tremendous weight of
A crowd of ages outside
Dressed for murder
I’m not fucking around
I’m not, I’m not, I’m not fucking around
And shall I kiss you even as you take me that way?
With the pill or demon as my body changes
Apparitions gone awry
They surround me, all sides
From what am I seeing, only changes
I’m not fucking around
I’m not, I’m not, I’m not fucking around