
There’s a new religion And it’s hot off the shelf Where the congregation Have to worship themselves There’s no fire and brimstone But there’s an inglenook Where you can take communion From a TV cook There are Ten Commandments And you can please yourself If you keep or break them You’re still condemned to Hell If you’ve a dollar in the bank And that will see you through But if your neighbour has a dollar Well then you’d better get two We can’t negotiate a contract A package to suit your claim You’ll get no justice in that sense 'Cos nobody’s ever to blame There’s a high priestess She knows the spice of life She’s only skin and bone But she’s a football wife They take an altar to the terrace So we can name our saints You’re given fifteen minutes With karaoke brains You’d better choose your friends Very carefully If they can help you network Well they’re no use to me Take what you want Not what you need We used to have that problem Now they’re a dying breed
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