The River / Down by the Sea

I made a sideways motion
Turning a new leaf
The single minded miner’s girl
Was there to share my grief
I shivered in the butter wind
Three times the cockerel crowed
I waited for the river
But the river did not flow.
An autumn turned to silver
Winter turned to gold
The weatherman said dress up
Oh but I did not feel the cold
Kids waited with toboggans
As I sheltered from the snow
I waited for the river
But the river did not flow.
I will drink the milk from you breasts
Meld myself to you
Collect the valley lilies
The worshippers once strew
My body aches with hunger
Yet your belly has to grow
I waited for the river
But the river did not flow.
Maybe you think, a lot like me
Of those who live beside the sea
Who feel so free, so I surmise
With their comfortable homes, and wives
Who end up drinking tea together
In the afternoon of their lives.
They build their homes upon the seashore
The quicksand castles of their dreams
Yet take no notice of the North wind
Which tears their building at the seams.
In their dismay and blind confusion
The weeping widows clutch their shawls
While as the sea mist ever deepens
The sailors hear the sirens' calls.
And in the maelstrom sea which follows
The lifeboat sinks without a trace
And yet there still remain survivors
To bear the shame of their disgrace.
Last night I lay in bed
And held myself
Trying to remember
How it once was with you
How your hands were softer.
Yesterday I found myself
Rather like the sailor
In my own home surroundings
I’m not sure I know me.
If you were me what would you do
Don’t tell me I don’t need you to
It won’t help me now.