Brief History of My Life

I first moved to the U.S.A
All the way from Canada
Drove across the continent
From Nova Scotia to Pasadena
My sister and me and my mom and dad
From the cold to the sunny south
There were palm trees growing and it was not snowing
And I never did shut my mouth
We drove on over to the court house
In downtown Los Angeles
Put our hands on a Bible and we swore as a family
That we were not communists
When we drove away I started to cry
They said, «What's wrong son, are you sick?»
I said, I don’t wanna be an American
I want to be a catholic
We talked Hollywood
And baseball in the car
The voice of Vin Scully
It would travel really far
I made my first communion
In St. Rita’s catholic church
There was incense choking and a priest was smoking
Was a choir up in the perch
My face got red and my stomach felt bad
They said, «If you’re gonna get sick use a cup»
Well, I thought by the time that it was my turn
Jesus would be all eaten up
We talked Hollywood
And baseball in the car
The voice of Ernie Harwell
It would travel really far
My allergies were bad so we moved to the desert
To a city called Palm Springs
We trick or treated at Liberace’s house
Each finger had a diamond ring
We met Elvis Presley in the middle of the summer
He hugged my sister for far too long
Well I felt kinda weird but I would’ve pimped her out
Just to hear him sing a song
We talked Hollywood
And baseball in the car
The voice of Jack Buck
It would travel really far, hey
Now here I am a grown up boy
At home on the 4th of July
Staring out at the ocean
And the fireworks in the sky
I miss my friends who aren’t around
The ones who passed away
Well, I’m feeling kinda grateful
Here on Independence Day
We talked Hollywood
And baseball in the car
The voice of Jerry Coleman
It would travel really far
I’d get allergies
And asthma in the yard
No-one ever told me
Growing up would be so hard